Since people’s homes are often the most expensive asset they own,
disagreements among buyers and sellers can get pretty intense. Sometimes, people get
so worked up they want to take the other party to court. Even if you are seeing red right
now, may I suggest that going to court should be the choice of last resort.

     As my lawyer once told me, “In a lawsuit, you may win and you may lose, but I
guarantee one thing: I will win.” He’s not wrong. If you go to court, it will likely cost more
and take longer than other options, so here are a few other options to try first.

Talking

      It’s amazing how often by approaching a problem with curiosity and open
communication, people can resolve disagreements. Recently online, I saw someone
post about a new neighbor who pointed his video camera into her yard. Instead of
raging at him, she asked him why. He was embarrassed that he didn’t know how to use
the camera properly and apologized. He had recently separated from his wife and was
going through a rough time. The woman ended up helping him with some projects and
the two became friends. Does this always happen? No. But the chances of it happening
when someone starts by launching rage-filled accusations makes it nearly impossible.

     In real estate transactions, there are often reasonable accommodations that can
make both parties happy. Minor concessions by one party or the other can sometimes
prevent the whole agreement from falling apart. Talking also allows both parties to
uncover misunderstandings where no one has to make a concession. For example, if
the term of the loan is written for five years when the seller carrying the financing
thought they agreed to three, maybe all he has to do is ask for clarification. The three-
year term may work well for both parties, and the contract simply had a typo. Go in with
good intentions and assume the best of the other party.

Mediation or Arbitration

     Sadly, not all disagreements are quite so easy to resolve. If talking to each other
doesn’t work, consider mediation. This is where an independent third party tries to help
the two parties come to an agreement that neither party loves but both will acquiesce to.
If the disagreement isn’t a huge one, the cost of resolution through mediation is usually
far less than the cost of litigation (going to court). If mediation doesn’t work, there are lots of varieties of arbitration. There are pros and cons here. Arbitration is generally
faster and cheaper than litigation, but there are limited appeals and the admissibility of
evidence follows different rules than in litigation.

Litigation

     Going to court doesn’t always guarantee justice either, though it’s the best we’ve
got. Having a judge and jury decide the fate of the dispute means humans are involved,
and therefore, it isn’t foolproof.
     Your lawyer is the best one to help you determine what type of dispute resolution
is best in your case. Be aware that time is ticking. If it’s a legal issue, the statute of
limitations may limit how long you can wait before you can no longer seek restitution. I’ll
review the statute of limitations for various issues next week.

     If you have questions about property management or real estate, please contact
me at [email protected] or call (707) 462-4000. If you have an idea for a future
column, share it with me and if I use it, I’ll send you a $25 gift certificate to Schat’s
Bakery.

     Dick Selzer is a real estate broker who has been in the business for more than
50 years. The opinions expressed here are his and do not necessarily represent his
affiliated organizations.